iC: Inbox [Asgard]

[bythewaves]

My apologies for my absence
The wind may wander as it wills, and so betimes do I
If you wish, you may leave me a message

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[bythewaves]

[ his voice is quiet and steady, with no hint of tears - he has wept all his long ago, and is far too used to good byes - but he sounds old and tired, all the same ]

They are. [ a hand comes up to wipe away her tears ]

Even your sister eh? I am sorry, yenya

[digophelia]

[ And there it is, Alice finally drops her face in her hands, weeping softly as soon as he mentions her elder sister. Lizzie had left in the worst way possible, without any time to for her to heal. Pulled from death and thrown into the streets of Asgard. Three days weren't enough to help her. She had thought the mere sight of her would kill her, too.

Alice mutters coldly underneath her breath. ]

It's not fair. She-

[ Alice sucks in a breath, trembling. ]

Something terrible happened to her.

[bythewaves]

[ Although he aches to hold her close, Maglor knows better by now. Instead, he reaches across to press a kiss to her forehead and wipes away her tears with one hand ]

Do you want to tell me, Alice? Can you?

cw: vague mentions here of rape and sexual abuse

[digophelia]

[that wasn't Lizzie talking in her sleep. She cringes at his touch and wonders if she can even get the words out to say it . It is easier for her to keep her hands bracing the sides of her head as she nearly crawls into a fetal position. She can't make eye contact as she speaks.]

He tormented her for months. Papa had forbade him from ever returning for tea. He... he broke in our house while they slept. I heard him, but I was far too scared to look.

I thought Lizzie was talking in her sleep, but no, he- he did the most unspeakable thing to her.

[Alice sinks further into despair, her breath hitches. She cannot utter the rest, not without having a panic attack again om front of him. Alucr, who was seven at the time had no concept of sex, wouldn't realize Bumby's horrible crime, not until she was older based on similar experiences in Rutledge. ]

Sick, depraved man! He killed her and took the lamp we had in the hallway and threw it in the living room. She never woke up again! The house was up in flames because he couldn't bare to be rejected- no, bard from harassing my sister. And he would have done the same to us, erasing our minds and turning us into dolls for perverse pleasure.

She woke up... After that. Why? And I couldn't heal her. Now what will she do? What will she do now?!

[bythewaves]

[ Maglor sits quiet and still - no matter how much he wishes it, he will not touch her more than this. But he cannot help the low snarl or the way his hands flex as if to grip a blade (or a neck). He fights down the urge to tear something (someone) apart until he is sure his voice is calm before he answers ]

Oh yenya. I do not know why such darkness is allowed to walk free.

[digophelia]

[ She can feel the ground underneath her begin to pull away, as she nearly snaps, like a broken twig in two as he says this. ]

Because it can! He was treating me, my family's murderer! He ruined them! That is why... that is why I had to-

[ She killed him. She still remembers the anger and triumph when she shoved him so hard, that he tripped and fell into the train as it came. The satisfaction she felt and then the grief afterwards that she couldn't save those children, as well. By now, Alice is starting to tremble, her hands raking through her hair, as if she's about to pull it all out. ]

A man of high social status compared to a lunatic like me. He's dead! Why doesn't it go away? Why couldn't she just stay here so that she may feel better?

[ The grief is unbearable. Never has uttered about the details of her sister's death in Asgard up until now. Alice slumps forward against him. ]

[bythewaves]

Don't call yourself that! [ His tone is even, and he never raises his voice, but there is fire there, in that statement, fire and steel to take down a world that would judge her so, and when she crumples he catches her, although he has to remind himself not to fold her in his arms ]

Oh Alice, Alice, you are not to blame, please do not hurt yourself so. And you are certainly not insane. You did what you had to do, to avenge your kin and keep yourself safe. I am sorry, yenya, I have no answers for you.

[digophelia]

I just want to save the children.

[ She's shaking her head against him, with her hands balled up into fists, unsure of she wants to be comforted. Ten years in Rutledge and she could have stayed in there longer. She's ashamed of it; when she would walk the streets of London, there would be passing gazes, fingers pointed, and terrible comments. All of that gossip -- mad Alice Liddell, who burned down her family's house.

She had simply woke up one day, surprising the staff of Rutledge and even stood in front of a court, accused of setting the fire in a psychotic episode. It seemed for naught, especially as everyone still accused her of it. Wild speculations run through her head; had all of it been masterminded by Bumby himself to cover his crimes? In her trauma, Alice had sculpted a memory of her cat knocking down the oil lamp in her room, when it had been Bumby.

She doesn't budge. It feels relieving to speak of it, as much as it hurts. He is one of the few and arguably the first to hear the details of her past in the gruesome details.She's had terrible episodes where Alice had became violent against herself and hallucinated. Not now, she's gently weeping openly against him. It's exhausting, the whole twelve years mourning her family has been exhausting.

It's one step closer to make amends it was out of her hands. Not insane, he says; she still holds her doubts. ]

I'm alone again. Please don't leave me alone again.

[bythewaves]

I know yenya, I know.

[ He aches to draw her in her arms and tell her she is safe, but Asgard, and indeed life in general does not permit such promises to be made. He lets her weep, only gently carding a hand through her hair. ]

Never alone, Alice. Not so long as I am here. I will go no where of my own will. [ it is the only promise he can make her ]

[digophelia]

[ For a few minutes more, Alice allows herself to openly cry on him. The times she mourned for them were in catatonic shock, disconnected from reality followed by fits and ramblings of Wonderland. Rarely she cried over them and never with another soul to comfort her. It feels strange and foreign to have someone listen to her. Why couldn't anyone do this for her as a child she never knew and grew to accept. His presence here was unavoidable and as soon as she said her goodbyes, she came directly to him, like a child with a scraped knee.

His reaffirmation calms her that she won't be thrown in a padded room, left in a bed for days on end helps. What a childish fear! Long at last, when Alice has moved from uncontrollable sobbing to openly weeping, she's just now noticed her tears. ]

I'm sorry.

[ A bad force of habit and Alice hasn't shrank away from Maglor quite yet. ]

[bythewaves]

No yenya - never apologise for doing what is needful.

[ until she pushes him off, he simply keeps carding his hand through her hair ]

I only wish I could have spared you this.

[digophelia]

[ He couldn't. No one really could. The world is not kind or orphans with no extended family and with plenty of manipulation to take her family's inheritance, but that's another story. She shakes her head gently against him. ]

I wish she could have stayed longer.

[bythewaves]

Mm, as do I. But I suppose we are not so fortunate as that.

[ Quiet and calm, despite the rage that boils inside ]

I am sorry I cannot do more, Alice.

[digophelia]

[ If it would be any consolation, Alice knows her sister, she knows she would have no problems with Maglor. One more deep breath, Alice swallows with a quiet nod, after realizing how long she had been crying on him. A silence befalls Alice, before she speaks up in a trembling voice. gently pulling away from him. ]

Thank you.

[bythewaves]

[ Maglor twines a finger in acurl of her hair affectionately and shakes his head ]

You are always welcome, yenya. You need not ever feel guilty.

[digophelia]

[ Anytime now, Alice could burst into tears again. Slowly, without a word, she sinks back down to sit there on the roof, lest she find herself in a catatonic grief once again. She won't, she knows that it will not help stave the pain away and it will make it worse. It's better if she keeps company with someone. ]

[bythewaves]

[ Maglor settles next to her, close, but not touching and begins to hum softly, a gentle melody of a sunlit glade. He will not speak unless she wants him to, but he will listen ]

[digophelia]

[ A few minutes of silence falls, Alice slumps against his side. She's not ready to leave his side quite yet. She's fighting off tears again. ]

I haven't- [ A sniffle and a choke in between. ] No one has ever said these things, not since Pyro was here.

[ Will he think of her less if he knew what happened to her after she was orphaned? ]

I didn't speak for years.

[bythewaves]

It is not easy to speak of such things. [ he rejoins quietly ]

You honor me to share them, Alice. [ since she seems to want the touch he starts the carding of her hair again ]

Was there none to stand for you? [ such a cruel world, to leave its children without succor ]

[digophelia]

No.

[ After a while, she grew used to it, often preferring her own company, even as she grew increasingly lonely. For as much as she hates touch, she allows him to fiddle with her hair. Or ether that, it's a conclusion that it must be a trait of his own kind, to fiddle with another's hair. Still, she finds it difficult to open up even more about Rutledge. ]

I want to shrink away and be gone again, but I don't want to be gone. I'm just a very strange person.

[bythewaves]

Strange is not always bad, gwilwileth. Men are strange to the Eldar, but that does not make us love any of you less - strange and wondrous thou art to me, fair and delicate as the first frost, but strong and hardy as the willow. I am glad you stay, yenya.

[digophelia]

[ His own kind cared for humans so, even as they would do terrible things. Unspeakable things. Just like what Bumby had done to her family, especially Lizzie. As she leans into his side, her posture is relaxing. How can anyone care for beings so capable of pure evil? She holds that thought to herself, she doesn't blurt it out. She sniffs, wiping away the last remaining tears from her eyes. ]

I've kept my silence for ten years, I will not any longer.

[bythewaves]

[ Maglor, of course, would argue that he has done things just as henious, and his people are capable of deeds equally dark ]

I am honored that you chose me to break yout silence with me.

[digophelia]

[ For a few more minutes, Alice keeps her head braced against his eyes, with her eyes closed. After some time has passed longer than she initially planned, Alice shifts forward. If anything, she would say he needed it more than her because of how many years well beyond the lifetimes of her family wandering alone. Just when she thinks she's finally stopped crying, she starts again. Alice pulls herself on unsure feet. ]

I forgot something. I was going to give it to you a few days before, but.

[ Suddenly the house became crowded with his extended family and Lizzie. She scurries off for a moment downstairs without giving him the time to ask. Alice is then seen coming back up, right there with a small paper bag. It's not a birthday, but the man deserves a present for his work and patience with these two. A tea and potion, although Alice doesn't say what it is, because it is a surprise. ]

Here.

[bythewaves]

Maglor will treasure those few brief days the rest of his life, for he knows full well that he will not see any of them in life outside of situations like this again. For those brief days, Asgard in general, and their house in particular, was treated to a faint glimpse of the joy and brightness that was Maglor's world growing up. It has settled him noticably, given him a strength and glow of peace in his eyes. Now he watches Alice with fond eyes.

"For me? What is the occasion, gwilwileth?" He blinks and accepts the bag, peering into it curiously.