Makalaurë Kanafinwë

[So very busted. He raises a brow.]

Then why do you hide?

From:

bythewaves

I am not hiding? [ Much ]

From:

[Right then. Don't mind Elrond.

Coming for you.

RIGHT NOW]

There is a hot meal and a warm bath waiting for you, because I wish you comfortable. Would you deny me?

From:

bythewaves

[ SHIT ABORT ABORT ABORT ... ]

I... no?

From:

[ABORT BUTTON IS BROKEN]

Then meet me halfway.

From:

bythewaves

[ DAMN SHODDY THIRD AGE WORKMANSHIP ]

I.... [ Meekly ] Alright. Where?

From:

[IT'S NOT HIS FAULT SECOND AND THIRD AGE CRAFSTMANSHIP IS SHODDY, HE DOES HIS BEST BUT HE ISN'T FEANOR]

Good. The forge is probably a good middle ground.

From:

bythewaves

[ For which Maglor is EXCEEDINGLY GRATEFUL ]

Alright - I will meet you around the back?

[ And he will! He won't even try and hide! Progress? ]

From:

[So is he!]

I will be there.

[Good not!dad, Elrond's very proud.]

From:

bythewaves

[ Maglor doesn't look like he's been neglecting himself, at least - a little quiet and pale, but no new injuries, and he's still neatly groomed, for someone who has probably been sleeping in the trees. ]

Elrond.

[ He smiles at him, too ]

From:

[Forgive him but he has to check anyway. At least he's fairly pleased with what he finds?

His smile is warm and he steps in close to embrace Maglor.]

So even you can learn to remember and take a bit better care of yourself from time to time.

From:

bythewaves

[ He would complain but he reflects guiltily that Elrond is right to check.

He doesn't shy away from the affection, this time, embracing Elrond back ]

You said you worry. [ Maglor says shyly ]

I made you worry enough.

From:

[He has EVERY right to check thank you very much. Elrond lets himself cling for a moment before stepping back and reaching for Maglor's hand.]

I always worry about those I love. You just happen to encourage it through your actions than most.

From:

bythewaves

[ He would complain but he knows he brings it on himself...

Maglor let's Elrond look - it's no better, but no worse, either ]

Surely I am not the only one?

From:

claritatis

Maglor, I trust you will be warned by others, but should that not be the case... The Null are at work again. Your name appeared on a list of individuals they wish to see dead. Be careful.

From:

bythewaves

"Let them try!"

Maglor laughs, the sound fey and wild.

"I survived three Ages of the world and all the Enemy could throw at me. But if they touch my brothers I will kill them."

From:

claritatis

I expected you might be more concerned. [Ignis hums, though he does find Maglor's reaction somewhat... uplifting.]

We have no idea how the Null operate. They may be very capable of killing you, along with everyone else here.

From:

bythewaves

Maybe!

[ he hums ]

Better folk than them have tried. I do not fear death.

From:

claritatis

I have my doubts that your lack of fear will keep them from killing you regardless. I have a bad feeling about where their intentions may lead next.

From:

bythewaves

True, true. But they reveal their true faces now, and we will see what others here are. My family would be upsetn if I die, so I suppose I will take precautions.

From:

(Someone is waiting for Maglor, dressed in a clean shirt and pants. His hair looks recently washed too - and braided! Clearly this nephew is on a mission. Beware.)

From:

bythewaves

Maglor, on the other hand, looks like Fingon sounds, or worse. Wound so tight he might snap at any point, grief and madness swirling in his eyes.

"Tyelpe?"

From:

Celebrimbor slips up to him and wraps his arms around him, nuzzling their cheeks together. As much as he wants to run, he knows his family needs him.

"Have you eaten today, Uncle?"

From:

bythewaves

He blinks at in weary confusion, but automatically gathers him close.

"Eaten?" He says slowly, eyes creasing as he thinks about it.

That would be a no.

From:

He loves Uncle Kano hugs and even though he's grown, he can never turn them down.

"Yes. Sustenance, mainly." he sighs over the answer and kisses Maglor's cheek, "Will you try something for me?"

From:

bythewaves

"I..." he turns to look back at the room

"I...suppose? "

From:

"Alright." Celebrimbor lets go and walks from the room for a moment. He returns with a bowl of stew.

"I think this tastes fairly good, but I'm not sure."

From:

bythewaves

Maglor is standing at the room entrance as once he stood at another, long long ago. But he isnt the king regent, holding strong, anymore, but the brother too often left behind.

From:

He halts in his progress and his gaze softens. He understands the weight of ruling; of leading even when you're not sure what to hold onto anymore. Maglor has suffered more losses than an entire kingdom should suffer and Celebrimbor cannot undo them.

But he wishes he could.

"I see you." he sets the bowl on a table and walks to stand at Maglor's side, grabbing onto his hand.

From:

bythewaves

He starts, surprised, and it is so hard to sneak up on him normally, turning to Celebrimbor with weariness in every movement.

"He won't wake."

He says softly, brokenly.

"What if he never does?"

From:

He is moving far easier thanks to Elrond. Surely that makes him quieter too?

"Not yet." he agrees, squeezing Maglor's hand, "You cannot think that way, Uncle. His body hasn't disappeared; he is still tethered to us, which means he has to return."

From:

bythewaves

That Celebrimbor moves with less pain brings joy to Maglor's heart, even now, and he leans against his nephew's strength, for he is close to the end of his.

(but not yet, not yet)

"Grandmother Miriel did not." He says softly.

From:

He wraps an arm around his dear uncle, more than happy to support him. Somehow, some way, he will get him to eat and rest. That is what Maedhros would want.

"This isn't the same situation. His life is bright and strong. Something has caused him to sleep. We just need to be patient." and pray. Celebrimbor doesn't mind visiting the temples if it helps.

From:

bythewaves

"Is it not?" Maglor pulls away, takes a step towards the room only to stop again at the doorway.

(He stood like this once before, until Maedhros got fed up and ordered him in)

"He's already left me once before." He says softly.

From:

Two steps forward and one back. Actually, it might be the other way around. Celebrimbor watches his uncle intently for a sign of how best to help.

"It isn't." he repeats, firm, "That was a different situation. Uncle Nelyo was hurting in the same way you were...are." he amends, "He did not choose to slumber. The magic will not last."

From:

bythewaves

Maglor stands at the doorway, a haunted look to him.

"I don't know if I have enough hope for believing that."

From:

He can't stand seeing him so lost. Celebrimbor hopes that he has enough Light left in him to guide his uncle home.

"Then you can rely on my hope."

From:

bythewaves

Maglor's arms are around himself, as if he can hold himself together.

"I am never strong enough to save him."

From:

Celebrimbor's arms will join the effort as he hooks his chin over Maglor's shoulder.

"Maybe you are not meant to and maybe that is simply part of his journey. I know it hurts."

From:

bythewaves

Maglor leans against him and a dry sob escapes.

"Just once, I wanted to be able to believe he wouldn't leave me."

From:

Celebrimbor holds him securely, offering his body as a safe place to rest.

"You shouldn't look at it like that. Your paths are no longer merged, but you should look forward to when they meet again. You have seen that is possible."

Edited Date: 2018-01-14 10:37 am (UTC)

From:

bythewaves

Maglor accepts that comfort, but his eyes never leave the room.

"I... don't know if I can."

From:

"You are not alone this time." Celebrimbor murmurs, "Rely on us until you can believe."

From:

bythewaves

A long moment Maglor is still, and then he sobs, collapsing as he weeps, leaning against Celebrimbor.

From:

He will be caught and held, gentle hands smoothing over Maglor's hair and back. Empathetic tears well in Celebrimbor's eyes and he doesn't pay them any mind as they fall.

"You have us. You have family."

Edited Date: 2018-01-14 11:15 am (UTC)

From:

bythewaves

Maglor weeps as if the world is ending, and perhaps for him it is - how many times, after all, has he been the one left behind?

(Not enough, never enough, always too slow, too afraid, too weak)

He weeps himself to sleep.

From:

It breaks his heart; of course it does. But he can't soften this blow for his uncle. For whatever reason, Maglor has been cursed with this burden. The least Celebrimbor can do is ensure he is not alone under its weight.

Once he feels his uncle slumbering, he lifts him and carries him to his room, tucking him into his bed.

From:

bythewaves

Maglor looks young, when he sleeps, pale with tear tracks still damp on his face, curled protectively as if to ward away the world.

"Nelyo..."

From:

Celebrimbor sits at his bedside, stroking over his hair worriedly. He could not have Maglor Fading on him - though he, amongst all of them, probably has the most reason.

"He will come back."

From:

bythewaves

"Alone..." whispers back to him, and if Maglor even knows his nephew is there is questionable, trapped within his own nightmares and memories.

From:

"No, you are not." his voice is a mirror of Fëanor's and he can use it to command if need be, "Kanafinwë, you are never alone."

From:

bythewaves

Maglor shudders, responding to the voice, eyes blinking and focusing. "Father? No...Tyelpe?"

From:

Celebrimbor leans in and kisses Maglor's brow affectionately.

"All is well, Uncle. You can sleep."

From:

bythewaves

"Tyelpe." He murmurs softly, gaze flickering in and out of dreams.

"I couldn't make it to you in time."

From:

"Do I look angry?" he smiles, a bit sad, "I dug my grave and I hold no grudges except with our combined Enemy."

From:

bythewaves

"I am never in time." He says sadly, a hand shyly creeping to hold his.

"Never enough."

From:

"You cannot rescue everyone. We have our own destinies." he takes the hand, holding it against his chest, "Your love travels with us; that is your greatest gift."

From:

bythewaves

More awake now, his fingers curl to hold his.

"I can never seem to rescue anyone."

From:

He climbs onto the bed and lays at his side.

"We have failed you. All of us seem overeager to see what is beyond death." he sighs, "Maybe there is a bit of Grandmother Miriel in our blood. That is not your fault."

From:

bythewaves

Maglor shifts to accomodate him, curling protectively around him, this time, although Celebrimbor is long and long adult and taller.

"Is it not? I feel that it is so."

From:

He slips his arms around him, offering himself as a place of rest. He isn't a child anymore and he is happy for that fact. Like this, he can give back what he is given.

"We live like a flame and then, unexpectedly, we are snuffed. You are the sole survivor and while that saddens me for your sake, I do not think it shameful. I only wish the world appreciated you better."

From:

bythewaves

"It is cold, without your flames." Maglor whispers softly. "The world has no reason to love one who tried so hard to destroy it."

From:

"There are still some flames. Elrond lives and he has children." he rests his cheek against Maglor's hair, "Do not keep yourself from them, please?"

From:

bythewaves

"I am unsafe." He murmurs, automatically starting to hum to him.

"I do not wish to taint them."

From:

"There is no taint but the one you impose on yourself." he closes his eyes, calmed, "You are a good person. You have learned from your mistakes."

From:

bythewaves

"Is there not?" Music ripples through his words, or under them, perhaps, a river running softly, soothingly.

"Alqualonde. Losgar. Doriath. Sirion." He names them, and the song grieves with him. "Kinsblood on my hands, Tyelpe."

From:

"All in the past; all said and done." he cannot produce a song, but his is a voice of gentle command, "These hands here? These very hands that saw to my bruises and scrapes as a child? You are not giving them credit for the beauty they have created!"

From:

bythewaves

"What little beauty they created is drowned in blood. Maybe that's why people leave me."

From:

"They leave, yes." he winces at his own guilt in this, "But they come back too. If you were truly horrible, why would they return?"

From:

bythewaves

"Only here." Maglor sighs softly. "And maybe I am still dreaming."

From:

He pinches Maglor's side. "Do you feel that? I am no dream." and to prove that point, he embraces his uncle tighter.

From:

bythewaves

"Ow!"

Maglor blinks and then laughs softly, brokenly, and hugs him back.

"I suppose not. It's just... I was so happy and then this happened..."

From:

He grins unapologetically and rests their heads together.

"This is just a bump in the road. We will climb over it together. Uncle Maedhros will join us when he is ready."

From:

bythewaves

"Dear Tyelpe."

Maglor murmurs softly.

"I will try and cling to that. It is just... so hard."

From:

Kano, I was home to see Nelyo earlier today, but I had to leave for a Guard shift, so I missed you.

I'm worried about him, but at the moment I'm worried about you, too. This must be hard for you.

From:

bythewaves

Maglor looks terrible, worn thin and tired and so very close to the edge of madness once again, sitting by his brother's bedside as he once sat so very long ago.

"Curvo... " He murmurs. "I... don't know, anymore."

From:

[ Curufin gazes at him in silence for a long moment. He remembers that terrible time, all those years ago, just after Fingon had brought Maedhros back from Thangorodrim, when it was not entirely clear that Maedhros would live, that he would have the heart to remain in that broken and scarred body, in that life of pain. ]

Listen, I'm coming back. But you just keep talking to me while I'm on my way, all right?

[ He's at the unfinished building that will be the new Guard Headquarters. They're using it already; they've moved the file cabinets and the furniture in. Curufin grabs his coat and picks up his weapons, slings them over his shoulders, and leaves. He keeps the phone in his hand, so Mags will catch glimpses of his face and of the houses around him as he walks. ]

How is he doing? The last time I saw him was ten hours ago.

Edited Date: 2018-01-16 07:37 am (UTC)

From:

bythewaves

Maglor nods, eyes straying back to where Maedhros sleeps.

"Alright? I...he's sleeping still. No change. I cannot..hear him."

From:

[ It isn't long before Curufin returns home, disengages the wards, and enters the house. He drops his weapons and his coat on the couch, and comes to Maedhros' bedroom. He taps on the door gently and pushes it open. ]

Macalaurë?

[ He comes to stand by Maglor's side, laying a hand on his shoulder. ]

You can't hear him, you say. He must be sleeping very deeply. [ Curufin can't hear him either. But then, he and Maedhros don't have much of a history of mind-to-mind contact. Even if Maedhros were conscious, Curufin would have to try very hard to hear him or be heard by him. ]

From:

bythewaves

Maglor hasn't moved from his spot, but he looks up when Curufin comes in and manages a faint smile.

"Here, Curvo."

He nods, reaching a hand up to cover his brother's.

"At least...he looks peaceful."

It isn't proper osanwe that the too eldest have between them, but they were so long all each other had.

From:

Curufin squeezes that hand gently, responding to the faint smile.

"He does look peaceful. Perhaps he's dreaming of something positive. I hope so." Maedhros' face is relaxed, his lips barely parted, his eyelids closed softly over those dreaming eyes. His hair is scattered over the pillows, making fiery rivers amongst the white sheets.

Maglor's special talent is for hearing the music that every living being and every unliving thing makes, wittingly or unwittingly, as an expression of its unique nature. Osanwe it is not, but it can be used as an avenue of communication. Curufin knows this because of his own relationship with Maglor.

"You can't hear his Song at all? Or is it just very muted?"

Edited Date: 2018-01-18 08:08 am (UTC)

From:

bythewaves

"As do I." He sighs softly, and his eyes defocus slightly as he dips all the way into the Song.

"I... no it's there. Very faint but..."

From:

Curufin smiles at his brother, tenderness in his eyes for Maglor's way of immersing himself in the Song of those he loves.

"That is very good. If you can hear him at all, then he must still be occupying his body. What is his music like, right now? Can you read anything from it, or feel anything?"

Edited Date: 2018-01-20 01:20 pm (UTC)

From:

bythewaves

"Not sure..."

Maglor murmurs, voice the barest ripple of sound as he wanders.

"So faint...so far away..."

From:

"Sorry, Macalaurë, this must be hard for you. I should not ask you to try to interpret his Song."

Because Maglor probably has terrible memories from when Maedhros leaped into that volcanic vent, leaving his terrified brother behind. Maglor, in his anguish, might have tried to reach out to find him, and. . . no, it doesn't even bear thinking about.

Curufin leans over and kisses the top of Maglor's head, and then squeezes his shoulder again.

From:

bythewaves

Maglor blinks, startled back into his physical body by Curufin's touch, and smiles weakly up at him.

"I'm just... so afraid he won't wake up."

From:

swiftlet

I don't think I properly thanked you for your help during that...incident. I'm not sure what got into Seel, but I appreciate your assistance. If there's anything I can do for you, please let me know.

From:

bythewaves

There is no need for thanks, Swift. Do you well? You injuries?

Edited Date: 2018-03-04 01:30 pm (UTC)

From:

swiftlet

I'm alright, thank you. Or as alright as I can be. He's never thrown me into a locked room before and I'm not sure what to make of that.

[As for the rest of it, he doesn't even bother to deny it.]

From:

bythewaves

[ A sigh ]

I warned you about Hadriel. Although I think this was him being afraid, and not the city itself. Fear will do... strange things to a person.

[ Oh my brother, my brother, if I had bound you, would you have stayed? whispers memory, but Maglor says nothing ]

Do you want to stay with us for a while?

From:

swiftlet

No. I think I've taken enough advantage of your hospitality, but thank you for the offer. He's at least apologizing again, but I suppose it's only a matter of time before that good will runs out. And yet I can't just leave him, either. [sigh]

I know people want me to, though I suspect they meant more for his well-being than mine.

From:

bythewaves

Tis no trouble, Swift, I promise. It's nice to have young ones in the house. [ He teases lightly ]

Mm, for bot of your sakes, I think. But I will, I suppose, see if there might be another way to teach him. If violence is what he knows... perhaps some self-discipline might help.

From:

swiftlet

I suppose protesting wouldn't change your opinion.

It isn't his fault. He doesn't mean to. I'm not sure how well he'd respond to more violence, but if you think you have an idea, by all means try. I've run out of them.

From:

bythewaves

Mm. I don't know if it will work, but it helped Caranthir, long ago. Physical exertion, that is. I'll take him out to the training fields.

[ A soft, hollow laugh ] He's been wary of me ever since he visited the house. I suppose I might as well see if I can leverage that. Get him some sword training, while we're at it.

From:

swiftlet

It may. I apologize in advance for his stubbornness.

[Sigh]

Perhaps I haven't done my own job, either. He shouldn't be an ass and I should be able to keep him from being one.

From:

bythewaves

His stubborness is not on you - that is entirely his responsibility. We shall see. And you are his beloved, not his mother! He really is old enough to be managing such things on his own back. But we will see if a few rounds on the training fields will help that.

From:

swiftlet

I know, but I'm supposed to be able to keep a leash on him.

I hope it will help. I'll see what I can do to pull myself together as well.

From:

bythewaves

Again, you are not his mother!

[ A pause ]

I can teach you too, if you want. Or I can ask Fingon or Maedhros or Curufin?

From:

swiftlet

Somehar has to be. It's clear he's not behaving himself.

I...I would appreciate that. Thank you.

From:

bythewaves

Not you, I think! Tis a cruel thing to ask of a lover.

I would not offer if I did not mean it! I will bring Seel down early. Come by later - although I won't go easy on you!

From:

swiftlet

I don't have much of a choice.

I'd appreciate that. If nothing else, it will give me something to focus on. I know better than to expect easy, at least.

From:

bythewaves

Then I will set some time aside for you as well. [ He promises ]

Is there a style you favor?

From:

swiftlet

No. I've not really had the time for very formal training.

From:

bythewaves

I'll let you try a few things then, and you can see what you might like. I was a dual-wielder myself for a while, although both Maedhros and Curufin favor single blades.

From:

swiftlet

Thank you. I just hope you'll be patient with me.

From:

bythewaves

[ He laughs softly ]

I am a harsh taskmaster, but not cruel. You will be sore, Swift - but I promise, I won't ask more than you can give.

From:

swiftlet

I don't mind sore. And I appreciate your help. Again.

From:

bythewaves

You're welcome, Swift. I will see you soon!

From:

swiftlet

And you.

From:

swiftlet

Maglor? I...hate to ask this, but do you have some time?

From:

bythewaves

Seel? What's wrong?

From:

swiftlet

Several things, apparently. Is there somewhere I can meet you?

From:

bythewaves

Of course youngling - where would you like to go? The Elfhouses are secure.

[ And Maglor can make them more so, at need ]

From:

swiftlet

So long as it's private, I don't care.

Thank you. I'll be there shortly.

From:

bythewaves

We can use my room then.

[ Maglor is waiting for him at the door, and he beckons him inside when he arrives ]

Come in, come in. Tell me what's wrong.

From:

swiftlet

[He doesn't look happy, but he's trying very hard not to fall apart. He can't help it, though, and starts crying halfway through the words that he can't seem to stop from coming.]

Seel. He...told me something that happened. Before I came here. Something I should have been here for only it's too late now. We tried to talk but...it didn't go well. He's falling apart and I can't fix it. I don't know what to do. I need help but I don't know what to ask. I'm not enough. Nothing I can do on my own is enough. You're the only one who I thought might...might be able to do something. Or might know something.

From:

bythewaves

Oh little one, oh.

[ Maglor pulls Swift into his arms and hushes him, hands carding soothingly through his hair ]

Oh little bird, I'm so sorry. Tell me, Swift. What happened. Slowly now - no rush. What did you tell him, and what did he say?

From:

swiftlet

[He's almost shocked but holds on to him regardless. It only helps a little. And maybe then only because Maglor reminds him in some small way off his hostling.]

I tried to apologize for...for being awful after I was sick. I told him I'm not afraid of him. It started fine until... until he told me died once. And the only person who was there to help was the one he hates more than anyhar else. Except maybe--[Ponclast. But he can't bring himself to say the name.]

He showed me. What it was like. And I should have been there. I could have fixed it, then, but now... I don't know if I can even find all the pieces let alone put them back together.

I tried--Ag knows I did but I'm out of my depth.

From:

bythewaves

[ Maglor hums to him soothingly, listens without judgement or haste ]

Ah little hawk. Don't try to shoulder all the burdens of the world.

[ Hypocrite whispers his brother's ghost ]

You aren't meant to be Seel's healer, little hawk, nor his parent. Sometimes, you can't fix it. Sometimes, all you can do is be there. [ he says softly with low grief beneath his words ] Sometimes, that's all you can do, and sometimes it's enough. 'Should haves' will ruin you, Swift. You can't change the past - all you can change is what you do here, and now.

Seel's an adult. Or, well, he's supposed to be. [ He adds wryly, before the dry grin fades ] He needs to learn to not rely on you too much, also. Be there for him, Swift, But don't feel you have to fix him.

Some things, [ There's such a wealth of bleak knowing in his voice ] some things are unfixable - by you or him, or anyone saving the Valar, maybe, and even then I think not. But it helps, I found, for both the wounded, to sit together and simply be.

From:

swiftlet

That can't be all. There must be something. I can't...I can't just watch him falling apart and not do anything. What if...what if I lose him to this? What do I do if it kills him or...or he ends up like Azriel? Please, I've lost too much of my family already. I can't lose him too.

From:

bythewaves

[ Maglor rocks him and wipes the tears from his eyes with knowing, tired hands, the fingers gentle - he's done this so many times before, for sons, for brothers

But never anyone there for Makalaure whispers the past, and Maglor ruthlessly squashes the voice ]

Then be there for him, Swift, as you could not be before. Hold him when he cries, shout back when he rages. And he will, Swift, oh, he will. Some days, he won't recognise you at all. Talk to him. Learn what he can bear to speak of, tiptoe gently around the wounds that are too fresh. Don't cosset him. Don't excuse him. Don't let him excuse himself - they all try and sink into self-pity, and that you cannot allow. Lance the wound, if you have to! The healing will be very long, little hawk, and maybe never complete. But sometimes, that's all anyone can do.

From:

swiftlet

[It isn't an answer he likes, but it's an answer. Even so, it doesn't feel like enough--still feels like he's failed everyhar around him. He couldn't save Azriel and now he can't save Seel. And what's the point of power of he can't even keep his family safe with it?

Defeated, he crumples, sobbing into Maglor's clothing and clinging to it until his hands hurt. And still he knew Seel was never going to see that. He's supposed to be the support, the solid Rock Seel grounded himself on. Always staid steady Swift. They can't both be in pieces.

Eventually yes can breathe again; though unevenly, it's enough to speak again, far more quietly than before.]

I understand. But it doesn't feel like enough. Maybe he was right after all.

From:

bythewaves

[ There are no good answers, Maglor knows, and he croons to Seel as he breaks, like the cradling arms of the sea, accepting his grief and his helpless fury ]

It will never feel like it is enough. [ Maglor says softly, bleakly

Oh Nelyo, Nelyo, forgive me, it should have been me! It should have been me ]

And it will be so much harder for you than it was for me. Oh Swift! Seel is still too young not to hurt you badly with his grief. But hush you - don't blame yourself. You are too young to be shouldering this burden, but there it is - we cannot chose what the times bring to us, only what we do with them. I will be here, as best I can, but ai, so much of what I have done has gone ill I hesitate to give more than comfort. But you can come to me, to my brothers, to my cousin, to my nephew - to any of us Swift, if you are hurting and in need. We have all of us lived through tragedy and been both the injured and the forgiven. We will never turn you away.

From:

swiftlet

I can't do this. I can't do nothing. [He already feels so guilty, how is he supposed to fix that? Maybe he even deserves to feel that way.]

From:

bythewaves

You aren't doing nothing Swift.

[ Maglor keeps up the soothing motions in his hair ]

You came to seek comfort of your own - and believe you me, it will be necessary. And sometimes, when you feel alone, all you really need is for a friend to sit beside you and hold you.

From:

swiftlet

I only want to protect the people I love and I can't even do that. Why can't I just keep them safe?

From:

bythewaves

Because there is no safety. [ Maglor says softly ]

There never is, Swift. Not truly. You cannot protect them from everything. All you can do is be there to hold them in the after.

From:

swiftlet

That isn't good enough. Azriel never hurt anyhar and they hurt him to hurt me. And Seel... [Well. Seel hurt a lot of people, but he doesn't deserve this.]

It's not fair. It's my fault.

From:

bythewaves

I know. But it is, what it is. Tis always the innocent who suffer the most Swift. Evil knows full well that their suffering hurts more. It isn't fair - it never is.

[ Firmly ]

But it is not your fault. Do not seek to take onto yourself the sins of others. It was not you who hurt this Azriel. Those who did so could have chosen any method, but they chose that one - because it would hurt you. That is not your fault Swift. It is theirs.

From:

swiftlet

But I could have been there. [He knows they're going in circles but he can't assuage the guilt.] I should have known better. I did know better. And now I have to watch and wait and hope that the empty thing that came home from the ruin still holds my child in it somewhere. That the thing that does nothing besides wake and breathe is still my Azriel. [His eyes widen after he says that, like he's realizing what he's saying for the first time. He hasn't spoken about that to anyone--not even to Seel. At home there were too many things to do and not enough time for grief, but Seel had been Azriel's hostling and he had to feel it even more. Which meant more of the stalwart strength for Swift and no chance to admit that it had broken him too.]

If I lose Seel to the waiting too I may not survive it.

From:

bythewaves

You could have been, but you were not.

[ Maglor is gentle, but inexorable ]

You cannot change that fact now. While there's life, there's hope, so said Master Samwise, who had uncommonly large dose of hobbit sense.

[ He sighs ]

So, our little hawk is a parent, hm? [ Far, far too young, he grieves ] That does make it harder. But it does not change what has already happened. Ah Swift. If I could take the pain from you I would.

[ He sighs, and hopes Maedhros will forgive him ]

When...Fingon rescued Maedhros from the Mountain... it was a long time before he could believe that he was safe, and we were real, and no new device of torture. Some days he would scream invectives, and confuse us for his torturers. Others, he would sink into himself and refuse to come out for fear. There was nothing any of us could do except be there, as best we could. And eventually, he came back to us. I don't know if your Azriel will, Swift. But Maedhros confessed that he always heard us, even when he had turned away from us. He wasn't always sure that we were real, but he always heard us. That is the only comfort I can offer, for your little one.

But Seel is here now. And he needs you too, little hawk. He doesn't need you to be strong, he needs you to be there. He needs you to tell him it's alright to weep, he needs you to tell him that it hurts you too, but you aren't blaming him for the pain. And you need him. You need to tell him that, too.

From:

swiftlet

[He knows Maglor is right, but he still can't help but feel guilty. So many things he could have done...that he should have done. He'd cost Ponclast his power, he should have known he wouldn't go quietly. Should have known his on father had learned his tactics from that monster. He shouldn't have been distracted by a diversion and left his home unguarded. He'll probably live with that feeling forever, that knowing that it was all because of him.

He bows his head, though, chastened by the story and what he says about Seel. It doesn't make it hurt any less, but...at least it makes sense.]

Alright. I can...I can try. I just...I don't know if it will even matter.

From:

bythewaves

It will always hurt.

[ Maglor says with soul-weary knowledge ]

You will always feel you should have done more, or done things differently. But you cannot change that. It's already done. The only thing you can change is the now. You have to keep reminding yourself of that, Swift, on the bad days. And the bad days will come. But good ones will, too, eventually.

I was the one who gave the order to leave Maedhros there, Swift. For thirty years my brother was tortured, because I could risk no lives for his rescue. Thirty years of the Sun we camped on our Enemy's very doorstep, and we did nothing to retrieve him. Even now, I grieve that pain. It will always hurt. But Maedhros forgave me. In time, I think Seel will too - he loves you too much not to.

[ He brushes a soothing hand through Swift's hair and cups his cheek to look into his eyes and say it firmly ]

It will. It does.

From:

swiftlet

[It will always hurt. That is not comforting, but he can at least appreciate being told the truth without being coddled. And telling him that it would stop eventually would only give him hope that would ultimately come to nothing.

He can't even look away, with Maglor holding his face like that. He can only look right back into his eyes and know that he means what he says.]

Will it ever feel like it does?

From:

bythewaves

Some days.

[ Maglor smiles sadly ]

And some days it comes as fresh as if it happened yesterday.

From:

swiftlet

[He sighs again and drops his eyes.]

I'll try to remember that. And thank you. For everything you've said.

From:

bythewaves

Tis little enough I can give. [ He says softly ]

But if it brings you some small measure of comfort, Swift, I am glad.

From:

swiftlet

It does. [Sort of.] Thank you for listening, too.

From:

bythewaves

Any time, Swift.

[ Maglor says fondly ]

You need but to call.

From:

[ Curufin went to attend Margaery Tyrell's resurrection at Hope's temple, and now he's back home. He made a promise and is now trying to arrange for its fulfillment. ]

Kano? Could you and the others go to Margaery's Sewing Shop and ward the place? So that if Caedra still has malice towards our friend, she never gets into Margaery's shop again? And Margaery might need her apartment protected, too, but I guess she needs to ask her roommate if that's okay first. I'd take care of it all myself, but I'm afraid I'm not going to be hammering out any iron bars for portcullises anytime soon. Nor do I have the energy to be investing iron with spells at the moment, nor devising clever deadfalls in unexpected places.

And I'll leave messages for the rest of the family. Thanks, Macalaurë!

From:

bythewaves

A good idea - I'll ask Fingon for help with the wards and I am sure Tyelpe can help with the building. And you should be resting.

[ Go back to bed is probably implied ]

From:

Thank you, brother! Yes. . . I'll rest soon.

[ He hears that. XD ]

From:

bythewaves

See that you do. I don't want you overstraining yourself, Curvo.

[ Big brother will be watching? ]

From:

I understand. See you at dinner?

[ LIttle brother will refrain from sneaking out again today. XDD ]

From:

bythewaves

I will cook you your favourite.

[ As a bribe-reward ]

From:

That's very kind of you, Kano!

[ He's very willing to be bribed/rewarded. XD ]

Edited Date: 2018-04-20 11:53 am (UTC)

From:

bythewaves

Only if you rest, brat.

From:

It's a bargain, then. [ Smile. ]

From:

bythewaves

I will hold you to that, brother!

From:

stonebird

Uncle I -

I seem to have lost my footing. (Her voice is shaky, breathless.) Winter (her dog) got in my way - he wished to play - but I fell.

(It's very hard to concentrate at the moment, forgive her.)

From:

bythewaves

[ Cute instant fret ]

Sansa! Where are you, little niece?

From:

stonebird

At home. (She is grateful for keen Elvish ears. Her voice is hard to find at the moment.) I think the door is unlocked?

From:

bythewaves

I will be right over.

[ Maglor practically flies over the short distance between houses, and doesn't even bother to try the lock, simply singing it open ]

Sansa?

From:

stonebird

(She is sitting on the lowest step inside, holding one of her arms to her chest.)

I'm h-here. (Winter is sitting beside her, ears lowered. He knows he made a mistake.)

From:

bythewaves

Oh Sansa! [ He comes in to kneel beside her ]

Where does it hurt, little firebird?

From:

stonebird

My wrist... I think it's broken. (It's at the very least a swollen mess.) I fell over Winter.

From:

bythewaves

[ Maglor hisses softly in sympathy ]

Aye! Bad Winter - although I think he knows, really. We'll have to get some ice on it. I'm no Elrond - we might be better if we get you to a proper healer.

From:

stonebird

He did not mean it. (She immediately rushes to her poor boy's defense, remembering Lady. But this is different. Maglor would never.) Will it need to be set?

(She remembers her brothers going through that process and her face pales at the thought.)

From:

bythewaves

Well he certainly will know better for next time!

[ Maglor frowns as he gently checks the bones ]

I ... think so, Sansa. I can try and sing the break whole, but it will hurt, and I don't know if that works in this world...I think I would feel better if we saw a healer?

From:

wantsnudes

Hello. Excuse me for contacting you out of the blue, but is your name Maglor?

From:

bythewaves

I am, yes. What can I do for you?

From:

wantsnudes

[Might as well follow suit, for politeness's sake. The voice on the other end is young, but well-spoken.]

My name is Yusuke Kitagawa, and I am an acquaintance of Queen Margaery. She related to me the horrific ordeals she endured at the hands of a demoness, one who is still at large and inflicting harm upon others.

Queen Margaery said you acted in order to avenge her... Could you tell me more of what happened?

From:

bythewaves

[ Maglor hums a little in understanding ]

Well met, Yusuke Kitagawa. The Lady Margaery is a good friend of mine, tis true. I fear I was not there when the attack happened, if that is what you wish to know. But of the demon that names itself Caedra...

[ That deep voice lilts, the musical cadences of a storyteller, painting the picture clearly in the minds eye ]

But it used the blood and life for its sorceries - something like a necromancer, I think. It called up beasts from her own world, for no reason than because it could, I believe. The guard was roused, but Curufin and I got there faster. Ah! So see him fight again, after so long. My brother is poetry, dark and terrible, but they wounded him sore, for they had wings and he did not. The guard came to our aid then, but it sued for peace and they believed it. To my king then, I appealed, and the blood-right he did not refuse me, for blood of kin spilt and blood of one under our protection. My elder brother came with me, and we constrained it in it's den. It fought us, but it has never fought the like of Maedhros, fell he was that day, as he was on the battleplains so long ago, and it's magics I knew by then how to counter. It died for its folly, but death here is but an interruption and it returned. It knows to be careful, now.

From:

wantsnudes

[Yusuke listens quietly. It's quite the story, and perhaps he would like to learn more of he and his brother later. But for now, however, his voice hardens.]

You say it knows to be careful, but that did not stop it killing again in a great crowd of people, where none were able to prevent it. It may leave the queen in peace, but others around the city are not so fortunate.

From:

bythewaves

[ He hisses angrily ]

I knew it would try again. More careful, clearly, but not enough to stop - not that anyone believed us when we asked permission to kill it at first. Something needs must be done, but my hands are tied. We recieved censure for going after it at all, if I do so again, for one not my own I will bring only trouble.

From:

wantsnudes

I see... But don't be discouraged. Perhaps someone else will find another way to achieve justice, even if it will take some time.

From:

bythewaves

I hope that someone does. That thing will go on doing as it will, else.

From:

wantsnudes

Indeed. Thank you for your time... and for being a good friend to Queen Margaery. She did not deserve what befell her.

From:

bythewaves

She did not - but none do, to fall to such a creature as Caedra! If there is any aid I can give, you have but to ask.

From:

wantsnudes

It's kind of you to offer. I will keep it in mind.

From:

bythewaves

Good fortune!

From:

[ Curufin is standing on the ice of the lake, near the shack he built over the ice hole. He has just knocked the ice in once again, to keep it clear for others to keep using for a well. Behind him, the tundra plain rolls away into the distance and the Northern Lights ripple in green veils in the sky over the hills. There is something strange about this backdrop; it is as though it is simultaneously the ice planet and some other place, redolent of the Unknown. ]

Kano! Can you come to me? I have something I must say to you and not much time to say it.

From:

bythewaves

"Curvo? Of course."

Maglor nods, and goes immediately. "What is it?"

From:

Curufin waits for his brother and when he sees him coming out onto the ice, he hurries to meet him.

"I'm leaving this world."

His dark eyes are full of sorrow and urgency.

From:

bythewaves

"Curvo?!" Maglor makes a distressed noise and reaches for him.

"What's wrong?"

From:

Curufin gathers him up in his arms and looks up a little into those silvery Fëanorion eyes, brighter but as somber as his own.

"I had a vision just a few hours ago: I saw my own departure from Hadriel. And I knew it was time to go -- and past time! -- and that if I wanted to have any choice about my destination, I'd have to open a door of my own and evade the Hadriel Door. I evaded the Doomsman in our world, so I know I have the power. But Maglor, I do not want to leave you."

The sorrow in his voice is obvious.

"I know, I promised you that I would not leave you of my own will. And now I must break my promise."

From:

bythewaves

"No!" A distressed keen is building in the back of Maglor's voice, and he clings tight to his brother.

"Don't leave me! I only just found you!"

From:

Curufin wraps his arms more tightly around Maglor and strives to offer what little comfort there is in this situation.

"I don't want to leave you. I want to stay with you always."

From:

bythewaves

"Then stay!" There's desperate, pleading power in that one statement.

From:

Oh, if only he could heed that desperate pleading! It wrenches his heart.

"I would if I could. But I can't."

From:

bythewaves

"Why not" Maglor hisses at him.

From:

"This world is poisoned to its root. I cannot hear its Song, as you probably can, but I can feel the corrupted vibrations of its rocks, its earth, the very fabric of its space and time. This universe has a pernicious soul. I felt this when I first came here, but I was able to ignore my own perceptions because I so glad, so glad! to be with Cel and Maedros, and then with you and Elrond and Fingon, and with the friends I made. So many things distracted me from what I could see with half an eye, feel with a touch of my hand. But now I cannot ignore it any longer, as it is getting worse and worse. This place doesn't like people who have any kind of integrity, and it finds ways to attack them or to instigate other residents to do so."

He sighs.

"If I attempt to remain, my fate will will surely be an ignominious death. I would continue to fight back until this world ejects me, but why stay for the end stage? I would be wasting my energies when they would be better spent in some world where communication, cooperation, creativity and intelligence are valued -- as they are not here."

Edited Date: 2018-12-30 07:27 am (UTC)

From:

bythewaves

"I hear it. But if you go... Curvo, how can I bear to lose you again?"

From:

"If I tried to stay, you would lose me anyway."

But he looks with longing on the dear face of his brother.

"Are you so sure that we will never meet again? You wouldn't remember this, but we were together in the world before this one. We promised one another that we would meet again, and we did. Here. Why could it not happen again?"

From:

bythewaves

Maglor shakes his head, tears spilling soundlessly down his cheeks.

"If I don't remember, does it matter? I've lost you, I'm loosing you."

The words hang between them, even though he doesn't say it.

Everyone I love always leaves me

From:

"It matters to me! But you're not losing me unless you choose to lose me!" His voice is passionate.

He knows that Maglor fears being deserted. In their world, he was the last of the seven brothers, and the last of the Finweans except for Elrond and Elros. He has reason to fear, his history gives him reason.

But Curufin will not let this stand. "What if I told you we need not be separated? That there is a way to stay together? Would you believe me? Would you trust me?"

From:

bythewaves

Maglor trembles in Curufin's arms - he's so terribly close to breaking.

"You're my brother." He says. "Yes. I trust you."

From:

Curufin feels that trembling, and it grieves him. He strokes Maglor's shoulders gently.

"Then let me search for a world we both could stand to live in. Or we both will search. Come with me!"

[ OOC: Correction! Tagging with late-night brain, got my facts wrong. XD Mags was the last of the Finweans except for Galadriel, Gil-Galad, and of course Celebrimbor. But I guess he didn't see much of them while he was wandering the new west coast of Middle-earth. ]

From:

bythewaves

"Come... with you?" Maglor blinks up at him.

"I..." Fingon is still here. But... Maedhros is gone. Fingon can look after himself, surely...

"I would come with you, if you would have me."

From:

"Come with me, yes!" he answers.

"I wish we could take them all with us! Everyone we care about. But if they will stay, then they will stay. They must have their reasons."

Curufin seizes his brother around the shoulders and hugs him as though he will never let him go. "Of course I will have you. I cannot even say how grateful I would be, if you would journey with me to find a new home."

From:

bythewaves

"I ... but Finno..." Maglor hesitates, ever the responsible one.

But he's missed his brothers for so very long, and Fingon, as dearly as Maglor loves him, is only a cousin.

He curls into his brother's hold and decides to be selfish, just this once.

"Alright."

From:

Curufin has been responsible for two years, thinking only of what he might do that would be useful to the community and to those he loves or has befriended. And now he has to think of himself, little as he wants to leave anyone behind.

He will miss Fingon. It has been such a little time since they met again, here in this awful place. They have been able to reconcile, and Curufn will always be grateful to his cousin for his forgiveness, his company, his humor, and his recognition of Curufin as family.

He lays his cheek on the top of Maglor's head and smiles, his eyes tearing up. He feared that this would be the end of their days together, and that was a dreadful thing to consider. And now he does not have to fear it.

"Thank you, Macalaurë. Thank you a thousand times!"

Edited Date: 2019-01-03 09:35 am (UTC)

From:

bythewaves

Maglor shifts to press a fond kiss to his brother's forehead.

"I love you, Curvo. You never have to thank me."

From:

And now it is Curufin's turn to snuggle into his brother's shoulder.

"I'll thank you anyway."

From:

bythewaves

"My little brother." Maglor smoothes his hair back from his face.

"My clever little crow. I'll come with you, Curvo. Wherever you want."

From: