[ That reminder draws a snarl (a snarl, from sweet Makalaure, who spent most of the trip across in the boats nearly catatonic from grief), and then it breaks, and Maglor's composure with it ]
I remember.
Oh atto, but I did. I could not save Turko, or Moryo, or Curvo, I could not save Ambarussa. Did you know Moryo's last words were to beg me to save his brothers? He did not know Curvo was already dead. Turko was alive long enough to ask me to sing him to Mandos, and Ambarussa I saw cut down in front of me. And oh, atto, I could not save Nyelo, never ever. I lost him twice you know, and once Findekano brought him back, but then I lost him too, and the second time Nyelo left me I couldn't reach him at all. And I failed you atto, right at the end, you and your precious jewels!
[ Who does he hate more, Maglor wonders. Himself, for taking the oath, his father for the way he has never been able to refuse him?
He laughs and the sound is almost hysterical - there is not a shred of joy in it ]
We reclaimed them, you know, Maedhros and I. [ he does not notice that he switched names, his eyes burn bright, but the light is fey and wild ] At the end, when Morgoth was overthrown, we came to the camp of the Valar like thieves in the night, and stole the Silmarils away. They caught us, but Eonwe let us go! He looked on us with pity, and we soon learnt why!
We could not touch them atarinya! For our deeds we were so unclean that they burnt us, oh that flame! And Maedhros could not bear it any longer, though I begged and pleaded for him to heed me! He threw himself into the fire atarinya, and left me alone! And I threw your precious silmaril away, and so failed you at the last and I. don't. care!
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zvi
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Date: 2014-05-30 12:45 pm (UTC)I remember.
Oh atto, but I did. I could not save Turko, or Moryo, or Curvo, I could not save Ambarussa. Did you know Moryo's last words were to beg me to save his brothers? He did not know Curvo was already dead. Turko was alive long enough to ask me to sing him to Mandos, and Ambarussa I saw cut down in front of me. And oh, atto, I could not save Nyelo, never ever. I lost him twice you know, and once Findekano brought him back, but then I lost him too, and the second time Nyelo left me I couldn't reach him at all. And I failed you atto, right at the end, you and your precious jewels!
[ Who does he hate more, Maglor wonders. Himself, for taking the oath, his father for the way he has never been able to refuse him?
He laughs and the sound is almost hysterical - there is not a shred of joy in it ]
We reclaimed them, you know, Maedhros and I. [ he does not notice that he switched names, his eyes burn bright, but the light is fey and wild ] At the end, when Morgoth was overthrown, we came to the camp of the Valar like thieves in the night, and stole the Silmarils away. They caught us, but Eonwe let us go! He looked on us with pity, and we soon learnt why!
We could not touch them atarinya! For our deeds we were so unclean that they burnt us, oh that flame! And Maedhros could not bear it any longer, though I begged and pleaded for him to heed me! He threw himself into the fire atarinya, and left me alone! And I threw your precious silmaril away, and so failed you at the last and I. don't. care!