[He knows Maglor is right, but he still can't help but feel guilty. So many things he could have done...that he should have done. He'd cost Ponclast his power, he should have known he wouldn't go quietly. Should have known his on father had learned his tactics from that monster. He shouldn't have been distracted by a diversion and left his home unguarded. He'll probably live with that feeling forever, that knowing that it was all because of him.
He bows his head, though, chastened by the story and what he says about Seel. It doesn't make it hurt any less, but...at least it makes sense.]
Alright. I can...I can try. I just...I don't know if it will even matter.
You will always feel you should have done more, or done things differently. But you cannot change that. It's already done. The only thing you can change is the now. You have to keep reminding yourself of that, Swift, on the bad days. And the bad days will come. But good ones will, too, eventually.
I was the one who gave the order to leave Maedhros there, Swift. For thirty years my brother was tortured, because I could risk no lives for his rescue. Thirty years of the Sun we camped on our Enemy's very doorstep, and we did nothing to retrieve him. Even now, I grieve that pain. It will always hurt. But Maedhros forgave me. In time, I think Seel will too - he loves you too much not to.
[ He brushes a soothing hand through Swift's hair and cups his cheek to look into his eyes and say it firmly ]
[It will always hurt. That is not comforting, but he can at least appreciate being told the truth without being coddled. And telling him that it would stop eventually would only give him hope that would ultimately come to nothing.
He can't even look away, with Maglor holding his face like that. He can only look right back into his eyes and know that he means what he says.]
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bythewaves) wrote2017-07-08 10:43 pm
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He bows his head, though, chastened by the story and what he says about Seel. It doesn't make it hurt any less, but...at least it makes sense.]
Alright. I can...I can try. I just...I don't know if it will even matter.
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[ Maglor says with soul-weary knowledge ]
You will always feel you should have done more, or done things differently. But you cannot change that. It's already done. The only thing you can change is the now. You have to keep reminding yourself of that, Swift, on the bad days. And the bad days will come. But good ones will, too, eventually.
I was the one who gave the order to leave Maedhros there, Swift. For thirty years my brother was tortured, because I could risk no lives for his rescue. Thirty years of the Sun we camped on our Enemy's very doorstep, and we did nothing to retrieve him. Even now, I grieve that pain. It will always hurt. But Maedhros forgave me. In time, I think Seel will too - he loves you too much not to.
[ He brushes a soothing hand through Swift's hair and cups his cheek to look into his eyes and say it firmly ]
It will. It does.
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He can't even look away, with Maglor holding his face like that. He can only look right back into his eyes and know that he means what he says.]
Will it ever feel like it does?
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[ Maglor smiles sadly ]
And some days it comes as fresh as if it happened yesterday.
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I'll try to remember that. And thank you. For everything you've said.
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But if it brings you some small measure of comfort, Swift, I am glad.
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[ Maglor says fondly ]
You need but to call.