iC: Inbox [Asgard]

[bythewaves]

My apologies for my absence
The wind may wander as it wills, and so betimes do I
If you wish, you may leave me a message

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[bythewaves]

Maglor lets her, knowing that she sometimes cannot find the words she wants. Kevin, too, is often that way. Kneeling before her he takes the hand she struck him with and brushes a kiss across her knuckles before releasing her.

"I am well, Alice. I promise."

[digophelia]

"I could have gone with you!"

Alice knows that it may have never been possible that she could follow him. She would follow him, to the ends of that realm just to make sure he stayed safe. Those close to her would have to be subjected to her protective nature. Maglor does not know her father's last words to her. Separation was painful and with her wild imagination, the last few minutes felt longer when she waited for him to come back.

[bythewaves]

"I know." He says simply, and lets her vent her anger on him as she pleases. "But it might have cost us both dearly" It might have cost me you

"And there were the others to worry over as well. I am sorry that I sent you way Alice, but you know if this choice had to be made again I would."

No matter how painful, he would. He learnt long ago, after all, how to make such choices (my brother or my people? You had to leave me there Maedhros agrees quietly It was the only way)

[digophelia]

Oh, how she would like to protect others from harm as much as possible, but Alice would prefer she stay close. In the rational part of her mind, she knows that it's a silly demand, even a little selfish. Alice doesn't say anything and she doesn't raise a fist other than her voice. "What if you didn't come back?"

[bythewaves]

"Then you would have met me at the door waiting for you, hm? Rather than the other way around."

The smile is sad and gentle.

"And if not here, then perhaps in another world, in a different time. But do not think of such things now, little butterfly. I am here - there is no point in worrying over might-have-beens."

[digophelia]

"Well, I don't care!" She finds herself shouting and right on cue, Alice bursts into tears. She feels like a child as she does this, dropping her head into her hands as her shoulders shake as Alice breaks into quiet sobs. "I don't care if I was, don't tell me to leave!"

[bythewaves]

"Ssh" He croons to her softly, hands across her cheecks wiping away her tears. Sere, sere it is well, Alice, see? I am here." He does not promise what he can not guarantee.

[digophelia]

It's such a pitiful thing to ask that he doesn't leave her. She hasn't depended on anyone in years and the realization that she does now startles her. She's shaking her head as she tries to calm herself down. The reassurances are comforting, but they do nothing to quell that fear that he may never come back.

Alice is banking on never returning to London now, there's nothing left for her there. There's so much more in Asgard, even in a war, "Then don't leave again. Don't tell me to leave, there's so much more I can do."

[bythewaves]

"You know I cannot promise that Alice." He reminds her gently, still kneeling before her. "But I will not send you away unnecessarily, nor will I try and leave you behind without urgent need. I will not seek my death here, Alice. Not so long as you and Kevin remain."

[digophelia]

Alice shakes her head again. She raises her fists fists as if she's about ready to strike him. "No!" This has already been trying enough and Alice hadn't intended to spill so much on him, "No, how can you say that? Please. I don't want to be sent away again and have nothing to return to!"

[bythewaves]

"Oh yenya" Soft and sad "Do not ask me to promise something I cannot fulfil. As long as I have strength enough to do so, I will always return to you. But I cannot promise more than that, Alice. Not in a world such as this."

[digophelia]

"Papa told me to leave," She finally admits to him, exposing the route of her distress, "He told us to get out while we still could! I could hear him... I could hear his voice there in yours."

Still, she cries, knowing very well it's an irrational fear, an irrational thought pattern, "I don't want to lose you."

[bythewaves]

"And I reminded you - oh yenya, I am sorry. But your papa and I ... we both would chose you over ourselves always. I cannot promise that you will not lose me. Not when we go to war - but I will fight to come back to you Alice, always."

[digophelia]

She feels like a child each time she shakes her head at his words. They're so hard to accept and they will be something she will go against. Alice clamps her eyes shut finding herself too angry to look at him. This isn't something she wants to hear; she rather have him promise not to get hurt or leave so that he won't. Alice doesn't come out and say it, of course.

[bythewaves]

He knows. But he cannot and will not make a promise he can not keep, and so he says nothing, only staying there on his knees in front of her, hands cupping her face as he wipes away her tears.

[digophelia]

It's a few more minutes before Alice can respond. She isn't about to take no as an answer, being stubborn as she is. Alice allows him to cup her face as a reassurance this is still reality. Even now, she finds herself wondering if dreams will fuse with reality.

"I'm not leaving you again, I don't care what you say to me. It's a promise I intend to keep."

[bythewaves]

"Have a care of making such promises, yenya. No good ever comes of making promises you cannot be sure to keep - You may have no choice, Alice."

A sigh. "Oh Alice. I have no words of comfort for you. War is always cruel."

[digophelia]

War is cruel he says, but Alice would argue that life is cruel and she has grown tired of it. When Alice manages to speak between hiccups and tears, the admonition she gives to him is still strange for her to say out loud, "We think of you as a father," Kevin seems much more comfortable being frank about this than Alice, ironically.

For her, it took a while; after some time, his mannerisms reminded her of her father, "I just don't want to see your hurt anymore. I don't want to lose you, too. I don't want to wake up and have everything gone again. I want to fight beside you."

[bythewaves]

It still brings a bright burn of joy when she or Kevin says it, but his smile is sad. "I know, and I am ever grateful for this blessing. I do not want to see either of you hurt either you see, and so we are at an impasse. I will not send you away unless I have to. I cannot promise more than that Alice, do not ask me to."

[digophelia]

"Please, let me go with you!" With desperation, Alice's trembling hands awkwardly cling onto his. She's still in tears and trembling with an overwhelming fear that he may vanish and never come back.

"I don't want to go back to London!" And Alice finds herself caving at the irrational thoughts, almost literally falling against him. "I want to go with you, please let me help you!"

[bythewaves]

"Oh yenya" He lets her cling, wishing that he dared to drag her close and hold her, instead contenting himself with running gentle fingers through her hair.

"I know, I know. If there is any way to bring you with me, beloved, I would, I will, this I swear."

[digophelia]

That is an answer Alice will accept. Slowly, she warms up to tentatively resting her hands on his shoulders until it turns into an embrace that's not desperate. It's a hug and she'll allow the close contact this once to say "thank you", instead of "don't leave me".

[bythewaves]

He stays on his knees, and his hands curl around her comfortingly before one goes back up to card gently through her hair, and he hums gently.

Peace and Comfort

[digophelia]

She feels small again, like a child as she freely braces against him. He's so tall and Alice already feels terrible for having him kneel like this. She isn't sobbing as much, her weeping has grown quiet as she slowly becomes more and more accustomed to being comforted like this. She's come a long way from hiding from him when he first found her.

[bythewaves]

If she was Kevin, he would pick her up and carry her inside, but as comfortable as she has grown with him, he knows better than to move such without necessity. He does not mind the kneeling, after all - and he can wait out her tears until she is calm again.